Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've found myself immersed in my studies. And here I thought taking a break from school would be more restful.

I've been having... dreams, when I actually do get to sleep. I'm starting to get scared again. In the dream, there's a man in white standing in an open field. I see him off in the distance and decide to get a closer look at him. Once I get closer, he turns around and looks at me. And all of a sudden, the whole field is engulfed in fire and the man is right in front of me. He picks me up by the throat and... I wake up. I wake up, covered in sweat. Last night, I had... red marks around my neck. Like the dream was real.

My leg's almost healed now. Haven't had any blackouts lately.

But someone went missing. Mr. Larkland. I went down to his house the other day, just to check up on him since he's out there all alone. I got there and the door was wide open. I ran in and... no one was there. All his cameras were melted. The only thing even resembling a clue as to what happened to him was the scratches on the floor and walls.

He was taken. And by what... I think we all have some idea.

-Neverlookback

Apparently I never did get to sleep the other day. Isaac told me I was sitting in the corner, rocking and muttering to myself. All I said, over and over, was "This has to end". I'm starting to get worried about my mental state so... I've started video taping myself. I'm not going to end up posting the videos on Youtube. Unless... Well, they start getting to the point where I don't know what the hell is going on. If I end up having another one of these episodes, I want to be able to remember what I did while I was out.

I don't think I'm going to be changing the name of the blog any time soon. Seems... suiting, right now.

So far, Isaac and I have no idea how track down this... light that was said to be able to fight off the... whatever they are. Until I find a better name for them, I guess I'll just call them the Slender Men.

I am more exhausted than I've ever been right now. So I'm thinking it'd be a good idea if I got some sleep.

Remember, if any of you need/want to contact me, you can always email me at alwayslookback@hotmail.com.

-Neverlookback

So... I'm okay, I guess. My leg's starting to feel better.

I just woke up. Sleeping through yesterday seems like kind of a waste...

I'm gonna talk to Isaac later today. He must know how to find this light.

dreams. you dream of everything. i dream of nothing. you dream of a new world. i dream of the old one. you dream of progress. i dream of survival. you'd call my dreams nightmares. but i'd say the same to you.

what. do. you. dream. of?

fairness. justice. where is it? why does it not seem to exist anymore? was it ever really there? who decides what is just and what is unjust? opinion. that's all it is. good things happen to bad people. bad things to good people. a circle of injustice. the innocent are killed. the guilty are rich. the poor remain poor. and the rich get richer. it all makes me laugh. sometimes i think to myself. why it's all happening to me. what i did to deserve this. maybe i do. maybe i don't. maybe i did. maybe i never will. but that's not important. all that matters is that it's happening.

i cannot run. i cannot fight. i cannot see. i cannot hear. but i can feel. i wish i couldn't.

There is apparently a lot of blood in the human body. Did you know that? I didn't realize that until I started heading home. I was attacked. Man in a red suit. Looked an awful lot like what me and Isaac have been seeing. I somehow managed to get away. I... I think something protected me. There was... someone, I don't know who. Okay. I'm gonna try to calm down and get this all straightened out.

So I left the house at around... noon, for the festival.


As you can probably see, it was pretty foggy today. I was jumpy the whole way there.

When I got there... Well, it really wasn't much of anything. A few people standing around a couple booths and some streamers. Kind of a let down. I did, however, get a little bit more information on this urban legend though.

Apparently... January 20th is the day that what I assume to be Slender Man is strongest. Now, believe it or not, this isn't the part that scared me most. The next thing I read is that apparently there's three of these things. The legend has it that there's three creatures that dress up in clothes that match the current time. one dresses in black, one in white, and the other in red. The one that dresses in black stalks people. Causes them to go crazy. Lose their mind. They see it everywhere, and it makes them paranoid. it also gives them nightmares. Makes them see it when they sleep, the one time they could possibly feel safe.

The one in white is the opposite. It keeps itself out of sight. Makes people have good dreams about it. Makes them feel safe with it. And then it shows itself to them. And the person, thinking it'll bring them all the wonderful things it did in their dreams, goes to it. And they're never seen again.

The one in red... It... It's the one that scares me most... It's the one... It attacks people. Physically. It goes after them. Its limbs can extend into tentacles, just like the other two, but... Sharper. Stories say that it uses the blood of the people it kills to keep its suit red.

It's... the one that I saw tonight. It... it attacked me. I heard it before I saw it. I just heard... shrieking. Coming from all around me. I couldn't find the source... I turned around and... there he was. Standing there. I tried to run, but the shrieking was so loud and overwhelming. Its tentacles came towards me. Hit me in the leg... I couldn't see for a second, but... I think something... attacked it. Something or someone. I didn't wait around long enough to check... All of a sudden, the shrieking stopped. I looked up and... there was what looked like a person trying to fight the red suited man off. I turned around and ran as fast as my injured leg would let me.

I got home about... an hour ago. Did my best to collect the nights events and... Well... Came on here to update you guys. I've locked all the doors and windows. Drawn the curtains. All the lights are on. I have a piece of my shirt wrapped around my leg. Damn Isaac doesn't have any bandages. There was one more thing I learned today. There is a way to fight them. The light... It... it all relates to that legend that Isaac had. The being of light. I... I don't know how to... summon it or get a hold of it. But I know that's the way I can get rid of these things before they... get rid of me.

Went back to check the apartment. Nothing too important missing. That's what surprises me. Nothing important is missing. The only thing that's missing is the research I was doing before all this started. Now that I think back on it, some of the stuff may have been related to Slender Man. Since I was reading up on local legends for that essay, I'm sure one or two of the stories were relevant, considering its history around here.

Festival's tomorrow. Going to check it out for sure. Might take some pictures of anything that might be important. I've been reading that people think that fireworks might have something to do with thetreeswatch's note. Not sure if there's going to be fireworks there, or if the town even has enough money to afford fireworks. I live in a small town. The college is in a bigger city about 45 minutes away. If there is fireworks, I'll keep my eyes and ears peeled for anything out of the ordinary.

Isaac's been quiet lately, around the house and on the Twitter too, apparently. I don't know if he's found something he's not telling me or what, but he seems a thousand miles away. Might interrogate him either tonight or tomorrow.

Other than that, nothing's been going on for the last few days. Sightings have quieted down a bit, but no matter how much I wanna hope it's for good, I know it's not. Going to try and relax today. Watch a few movies. Unfortunately, all I feel like watching is The Blair Witch Project.

I found a bit more info on the festival. Apparently it's meant to keep Slender Man (or what I think to be Slender Man) at bay. It started about forty nine years ago, this year being the fiftieth. They pay homage to "Slender Man" once a year to keep him away from the children. In this day and age, no one believes in the "Slender Man" anymore, so they just do it out of tradition. It took me a little bit more digging to find this out, but every year until the forty fifth, a few days after the festival, someone went missing, with reports of a man in a red suit being seen every time. And then the kidnappings just stopped. From what I've read, it seems innocent enough. Doesn't seem dangerous at all. So I guess I'll go take a look around.

It would also seem that thetreeswatch says something will be happening on the 20th. The note that people received from him read "On the day o` the 20th the light will make itself heard". Not sure if this is just more cryptic stuff, or if it means exactly that. Hard to tell. From the looks of it though, thetreeswatch is the one who ransacked my apartment. I wonder what he was looking for... I'm gonna go back later and check again. See if anything's missing.

To answer a question that I got, there is something going on in town on the 20th. Some sort of festival, as far as I gather. Strangely, it's related to the legends I've been reading that seem related to Slender Man. I don't know much about it, but apparently there was this whole religion based around Slender Man back in the day. It's long gone now. Still has me a bit worried. I'm gonna do a bit more research on it tonight. Seems interesting enough for me to check it out so far. Might learn a thing or two.

Decided I should update before you guys get worried about me.

I haven't found anything too exciting. I did, however, find out that Slender Man is a big thing in the area. Lots of legends and stories. Nothing that'll help me out much though. Everyone in the stories die, without finding a way to fight back. Not too helpful at all.

I saw that people have been getting pieces of a note via email. From thetreeswatch no less. Kind of confuses me that I didn't get one.

Isaac has been acting different lately. Nicer, in a way. It's kind of odd.

I went back to my apartment to pick up some of my stuff, as it seems like I'll be staying at Isaac's longer than I thought I would be. There's no worse feeling than knowing someone other than yourself has been in your house. As soon as I walked in the door, I could feel something was not right, and turning on the lights proved it. The house was torn to shit. Couch cushions torn and thrown around. Table, chair, and couch flipped over. My bed was torn into pieces. There was... writing on the wall. Looked familiar to me. "012010" is read. I went to go check my backyard and see if there was anything there. There was nothing there, but there sure as hell was something missing. After what happened with my dog, I buried it in my backyard, so she'd always be close, you know? The grave was dug up and what was left of the body was gone, making my bad day that much worse. I grabbed some of my stuff that was still in tact and got the hell out of there. Felt like something was still lurking.

He's been around more. I don't see him, but there's this... feeling you get when he's around. Pure fear. I look over my shoulder constantly now. It's a sad day when you can't even surf the internet without feeling like you're going to be taken at any moment.

I have some leads on Slender Man. Local legends, newspaper clippings, eye witness reports from over the years. I'm going to check them all out tomorrow and report back.

I also think I know why I've been having these... moments. But it's all just speculation at the moment, so I'm not going to bother explaining it.

I'm getting sick of this feeling, so I'm going to (try) to get some sleep.

Night folks. Always look back.

I'm back. Or... awake. Or whatever... Isaac found me unconscious in the middle of the forest. Apparently I had gone missing last night... Can't remember much from before... before I... Ugh. I saw him. I'm sure of it. He was standing outside my window, and then I just... lost it. I'm not sure what to do anymore... I think he's toying with me. Playing... God I'm tired, but I fear that if I go to sleep, it'll happen again... There's... There's bruises all over my body. I don't know where they came from. If they're self inflicted or... from somewhere else. I'm starting to lose hope. I can't think of anything to... ward this thing off. My God I'm not going to go and video tape myself.

I'm not sure what to think anymore. Looking back at the posts I made last night... It doesn't make any sense to me. Was that... really me? Maybe I am crazy...

sanity

what does it mean to be sane? is it following what everyone else believes? or is it knowing everything no one else knows. sanity and insanity are two sides of the same coin. very similar yet very different. but who is to say who's sane and who is insane? are they in an asylum or are we? are they safe or are we? sanity is over rated, some would say. some would say that insanity is seeing clearly. and some would also say that it's seeing clearly that drove them insane. seeing clearly. seeing all. am i insane? i see nothing but i see everything. i am here but not here. i am conscious but asleep. awake and dreaming. living dead. living on bought time. how much longer do i have? will he get me or will i? getting sick. sick of all this. action must be taken. but what sort of action?

he
ensnares

leaves
prisoners

i am trapped in my own mind.

seesmeseesmeseesmeseesme

he sees me
always sees me
always watching waiting lurking
he is always there
just out of sight
but he is there
i can here him now
the laughing
oh the laughing
the terrible terrible laughing
he finds joy in all this
joy rapture excitement
hunting
i am the hunted

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I hear him. Tapping at my window. Looks like I won't be sleeping tonight.

I got sick of not doing anything about all this. So I decided to find out more about Slender Man. I went to the local library and looked through some old newspaper clippings to see if I could find anything even remotely related. There's one that stood out from the others. The librarian wouldn't let me take it, said I look a bit shady. So I wrote it down.

"This afternoon at Morningside Daycare, three children went missing. Reports say that the children seem to have disappeared, leaving no trace of themselves behind. Upon further investigation and interrogation of the children, one child, Darrick Larkland, saw what happened. He is reported as saying "I saw the tall man. He told us to come with him. I ran away, but he took everyone else..." Darrick then threw a fit and couldn't be calmed down for nearly an hour."

The rest of the article was unimportant.

I tracked down Darrick Larkland. This all happened 26 years ago, so I wasn't sure what to expect. He lives rather close, so I decided to just run over there and pay him a visit.

I get there are around 4 pm (it being almost 11 now) and knock on his door. Before the door opens, you hear about seven locks unlocking. After a bout of shouting, a calm him down and he invites me in. I come right out and ask him about the incident 26 years ago. He's silent for about five minutes before telling me he can't remember a thing about what happened then. I push him for more information, asking him if he can remember anything at all, especially about the tall man. All of a sudden he just snaps. He starts yelling at me to get out of his house and, not wanting to start some sort of fight, I do. But not before taking a quick look around his house.

The man has six cameras on a table. He has the whole place under surveillance.

Now we get to the... interesting part. I must have been there longer than I thought, because once I got outside, it was dark. I start walking down the path and... he's there... He wasn't moving, and I wasn't sure if he saw me, so I took a picture...



It seemed like as soon as I got the picture he was... closer... I start running in the other direction. Tried to escape. I looked back, and... He was gone. I kept running down the path and saw him in front of me again.



I started running the other way. I took a quick look behind me and slipped. My phone fell out of my pocket and apparently took a picture.



I got up and started running as fast as I could. I got home a little while ago. I need to do something about all this.

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Another Note

Found this on my desk when I woke up (got an actually decent sleep last night, by the way) which is disconcerting for obvious reasons. I'm not too knowledgeable about codes or anything, so I have no idea what it means.

Isaac told me another part of the legend tonight.

"The Darkness welled up against the Light, throwing it back into the Void..."

Mysterious Note

Found this taped to my door.

Anyone thinking it's from the person I'm thinking it's from?

Just woke up. After sleeping for... maybe an hour. God... All of this is really starting to get to me. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I barely leave the house anymore. The only company I have is Isaac, and even he's not all that right in the head, though I'm pretty sure it's not because of "Slender Man". There's gotta be something I can do to end this. Someone that can help me in this. Somewhere I can go to escape. Some way to feel sane again. The one thing I had that reassured me was thetreeswatch, no matter how crazy that seems. It was comforting knowing that someone out there at least had some knowledge of what's going on. And now he just seems to have disappeared as mysteriously as he appeared. I'm starting to get scared. More scared than I was before. More scared than I ever have been. I guess it's the reality of all this finally hitting me...

To add on to it, I still can't figure out what caused my breakdown a couple days ago. I'm feeling fine, despite being increasingly tired, and I haven't blacked out like that since, or even before that. This is just getting to be too much...

Screw it. I'm done with trying to get my scanner to work. I translated the legend as best I could and typed it out, so here it is.

"In the beginning, there was Void. From Void begot the Light to fill the Empty Nothing of the Void. Where the glorious, warm Light did not, or could not, shine, those of Darkness reigned with cold, hard terror. There was Balance. Joy and Life existed alongside Suffering and miserable Death. There was Peace. There was War. There was Balance.

The Pain grew great. Life drains and fades into Death, but Death remains forever. The Darkness grew, without expansion or hostility. The Darkness grew great with Pain and Misery, with Death and Suffering, and there was Balance, even while the Darkness grew."

I'm going to ask Isaac to let me see the other pages of the legend, so you guys can see read it in its entirety.

For those who were wondering where Isaac was while I had my... episode, he tells me he was out on one of his walks in the forest. Apparently I was asleep when he got home and he didn't notice anything strange.

Other than that, nothing new to report. I didn't end up getting any sleep earlier, since I wanted to get the legend up as soon as possible, so I think I'll try to get some sleep now. The combination of stress, paranoia, and lack of sleep is probably what's getting to me.

Just woke up. My head feels like I drank a liter of tequila and hit my head against a wall all night. I don't know what happened last night. Last thing I remember is seeing a shadow dart passed my window. I'm going to get some sleep. Scanner seems to be broken, so I'll have to try to fix it when I wake up.

If anyone feels like emailing me, I finally got around to setting up an alternate email for this. alwayslookback@hotmail.com I'd be happy to answer any questions as best I can.

Had a rough night. Cashed in maybe... two hours of sleep, total. And I had constant nightmares when I did sleep. This is getting to be too much for me. I feel like I'm starting to lose grip on everything completely. I'm so stressed from everything else on top of this. I'm thinking about taking a break from school, and my job... Well, I'm gonna have to keep doing that.

In lighter news, I should have the legend up later today. Just finishing it up and leaving for school. Will post it when I get back.

Be careful everyone, and always look back.

Just a quick update tonight. Nothing's been going on lately. It's been pretty quiet since New Years. Thought I saw him a few times, but they were just shadows or tree branches. Trying to keep cool as much as possible.

I'm not going to be able to scan the legend as easily as I thought. The paper seems to be more brittle than I thought it was, so I'm going to be copying down everything that's on it, with the possibility of also translating it as best I can while I do so. I'd expect it to be done in... one or two days. There's a lot on it and I'm busy with other obligations, so bear with me for now.

I'm going to try to get some sleep, though I don't see it happening. I've been feeling kind of weird lately. Hearing and seeing things. It's probably my imagination going crazy from all the stress.

Night guys, and remember, always look back.

I asked Isaac to take me on one of his walks yesterday. I wasn't expecting him to take me, but to my surprise, he did. It's funny what paranoia makes you think. I always thought he went into the middle of the forest to worship some sort of demon king. Instead, he just goes to this clearing in the forest to think. Though, he might have just been doing this to lead me into thinking he's a normal guy. But I guess I'll never know for sure. Anyways, me and Isaac had another talk about Slender Man last night. Nothing too new. More like a review than anything. That's not the important thing.

We saw a man in a white suit walking through the forest last night. He greatly resembled the entity I've been seeing lately. I tried to get a picture, but my camera and my phone stopped working. Isaac and I stood there watching him for maybe a few minutes before he disappeared into the trees. We figured it'd be a bad idea to go after him, seeing how we know so little about what's going on.

After standing in silence for a few minutes after the man disappeared, we headed back to the house, not a word said until we got there. I figured then would be a better time than any to tell Isaac about what had been going on. I told him that Slender Man has been following me for a little over a month now. I showed him the blog. He didn't act totally surprised. I don't know if he knew or not, but he said he'd at least like to get involved in it, so he's going to be using his Twitter to help us out a bit. http://twitter.com/Isaac_Sumizone I'd suggest taking a look at it every now and then. He might have more to add than I do in these blog posts.

So far I haven't found any information on this man in white. The biggest lead I have right now is the legend. Now seems like a good time to scan that and put it up.